Jobs I’ve Had (the ones that actually paid)

1. Babysitter
2. Party store balloon-maker
3. Seller of discount books
4. Data entry minion at pharmaceutical company
5. Slave of batshit insane ex-hippie owner at hip dress boutique
6. Furniture store monkey
7. Dorm front desk person (I would always let you in, even without your ID.)
8. Front desk person at salon of bitchery and superficiality
9. Assistant to batshit insane ex-hippie Buddhist retreat owning trustafarian
10. Juice/coffee bar lady of joy and wonderment
11. Cleaner of women’s bathrooms
12. English tutor of Japanese college students
13. Corporate hippie grocery store register droid
14. Teacher of writing and yoga to amazing crazy desert teens
15. Teacher of poetry at day camp with fifth grade poor childrenz
16. Processor of speaking contracts for Bill Clinton, Al Gore, Dick’s Cheney’s lesbian offspring, et. al.
17. Paralegal at immigration law firm specializing in fashion models
18. Personal assistant to saucy business guru
19. Writer of mini-biographies for library resource magazine
20. Blogger of sex things
21. Maker of baby interview videos
22. Maker of bathtub interview videos
23. Contributing writer of fake news
24. Writer of GPS travel guides to Charleston, SC and NY, NY
25. Writer and maker of videos for news department of music-themed multiplatform media brand
26. Editor and writer of business topics things at other magazine

and ooh! I forgot!

27. Campus tour guide of fun and delight

and oh! Also!

28. Summer camp teacher of “gifted and talented” teenage sociopaths