Greatest Feelings of Relief

1. A great dump.
2. What the Victorians called “the little death.”
3. Getting tranq’d during a medical procedure.
4. Getting tranq’d during a panic attack.
5. Getting one’s hurrrr did when yo roots really need it.
6. Getting your SAT scores back.
7. Getting into college.
8. Falling asleep when you’re dog-ass tired.
9. I would imagine that being exonerated of all wrongdoing in some sort of a criminal or civil trial would be an enormous relief, particular if you were charged with murder.
10. Getting to drink water when, like, you were really really REALLY thirsty.
11. My personal favorite: finding out you ain’t pregnant.
12. Finding out you ain’t got no STDs.
13. Another personal favorite: finding out it’s not cancer!
14. Yet another personal fave: going to the dentist and finding out you don’t have ANY cavities, not even one, nor do you have gum disease or anything else.
15. When the eye doctor calls to say your contact lenses are in, that’s pretty spesh, also.