See, I LOVE working for MTV. Love it! But here I am, sitting down to edit a video (something I really enjoy) about teh geighz (individuals I really REALLY enjoy) and I’m inclined to procrastinate. So, I’m gonna procrastinate by writing about HOW I procrastinate, and maybe you’ll relate.
Things I Do When I’m Procrastinatin’
1.)GoogleHate
Ooh, this one’s a doozy. You can Google everyone you THINK you hate, burn through 12 hours looking at bullshit, and STILL be unwilling to let go once the orgy of hatin’ comes to its natural end. When you start Googlehatin’ on enemies’ frenemies’ frenemies, even if the conflict only exists in your head because you’re all kinds of neurotic and nutty, well, at that point you know you need to give it all up to a higher power and ask for help. Except when someone in a position of power lets loose shelter dogs in a forest. Please Googlehate Mayor Douchebag all you want. I already left a comment on his blog.
2.) Nap
The best procrastination tool of all time: sleep! “I’m tired.” “I worked out really hard today.” “I didn’t work out today.” “I feel really relaxed.” “I feel really tense.” “I feel ugly and fat.” “I feel beautiful and thin.” “I saw a cow on television.” These are all valid reasons for napping. There is no invalid reason for napping. Your reason could be “The sporks, they sing in the night” and that, my friend, is just as valid a reason for napping as “I’m depressed and want to forget it all for a little while.” It is a true story that I used to nap rather than eat. You can lose some weight this way, but mostly it’s muscle tone, and then your body begins to feed on itself. GROSS! I know. Don’t do that. But do take a nap if you need to. As we’ve established, naps rule.
3.) Pet the Kitteh
Note: this is not a euphemism. I literally mean that I like to pet my kitty cat when I am procrastinatin’. She’s 15 years old and adorable and amazing and she’s my common-law stepcat and I adore her. Everything she does is awesome. She’s constantly filled with either full-on, noisy rage or smooshy, cuddly love. I can relate to this. I get annoyed really quickly, especially on the streets of our fair city, but I can switch into happy mode instantly.
4.) Check Out What Anya’s Been Up To
Her name is Anya Garrett. She is a photographer, shooter of videos, and actress. She’s always up to something interesting.
Those cows on TV get me every time man. Every time.