I’m in Calabasas, CA, having eschewed the evening’s plans (UCBT + BFF + H. Alan Scott + Thai food = happiness) due to car trouble.
Today I met my new co-worker dude, Brian, for the first time, and we headed on over to Malibu to cover a celebrity kickball game. Highlights included demanding that Ryan Eggold, one of the stars of the new “90210,” tell us if he had a large wang; shrieking at Ryan that he needs to watch “Gossip Girl” on the CW in order to understand the brilliance of his new network home; accidentally kicking a kickball into actor Sam Murphy’s nutsack, with seemingly no effect on him, because he is probably made of steel, and also he is very attractive; asking Perez Hilton about how big he thought the dude players’ wieners were; chasing down the object of Brian’s affection in order to lure her to our table so that he could talk to her; getting compliments on my badass heart-shaped bedazzled Lolita sunglasses; hitting on numerous members of the Screen Actors’ Guild; interviewing actress Katie Cassidy about this fall’s CBS spooky ooky ooky series “Harper’s Island” and then accidentally calling it “Harper’s Ferry;” drinking a beer (Newcastle) that I actually enjoyed; interviewing Nick Kroll only to be besieged by TJ Miller, who I’m pretty sure didn’t realize we’d met before even though he’s been on Family Hour with Auntie Sara; and ogling numerous hotties of both sexes.
In short, I adhered to the rules of monogamy but made no bones about the fact that I thought almost everyone in sight was balls-out hot. Brian and I also managed to establish that Patricia, Girl #9 on “Deal or No Deal,” is smart, friendly and quite an enjoyable interview.
Seagulls attacked cupcakes, Ryan Eggold attacked the drunken gay umpire, and I attacked our friend TJ Luby for mispronouncing the name of the glorious “Full House” Lori Loughlin character (”AHHH-nnt Becky,” not “EEAAAAAHHHHNT Becky.”) Eventually, a kindly sun burned off enough of the smog so that we could see the ocean located immediately behind the kickball field.
All in all, it was a great first day at work. So great, in fact, that I am too keyed up to sleep, and feel kind of lonely since I didn’t get to see my good friends, and so engaged in overtexting one friend out of boredom/excitement (the weirdest combination there is), which I am pretty sure has understandably led him to the conclusion that I am nuts, when in fact I am actually just nosy.
My boyfriend is asleep 3,000 miles away after a hard day of making silly videos with his friends, and our cat is with him, and I’m here in California, restless, a little overheated, and slightly sunburnt.
Regular work starts Monday afternoon, but this kickball trip was a nice way to kick off the job.
Shit! I just realized I forgot to nab a swag bag.
Okay so other than that, the day was pretty rad. I’d live here if I could snap my fingers and be in NYC instantly anytime I wanted.
I hope you mean “silly” as “most hilarious thing ever” instead of “frivolous.” What am I saying? Of course you mean that.
Yes. Well, I meant “hilarious,” at least. Because as someone who flew across the continent TO GO TO A KICKBALL GAME, I am in no position to judge. And I’m sure it will be very very funny.