Three terrifying liberals.

It was with great alarm and fear that I greeted the news of the latest Laughter Against the Machine comedy tour, as well as the attendant documentary film project. The whole thing sounded terrifying. And these jerks are raising money for their jerk-project, to boot! In a terrifying twist, even the powerful reputed sorceress Margaret Cho and the nefarious warlock king Marc Maron have weighed in to support this series of live, cross-country comedy abortions. But because I seek to understand my enemies, I asked notorious progressive comedians Janine Brito, Nato Green, and W. Kamau Bell to explain the purpose behind their big new endeavor. Their answers were predictably shocking and heinous. (I put Janine’s answers last, because she is a girl.)

Sara Benincasa: What the hell is Laughter Against the Machine?

W. Kamau Bell: We’re the campfire of the revolution. After a long day of standing on picket lines, holding up protest signs, asking people to sign your petition, and circulating news articles and blogs to try to shore the side of righteousness and goodness and joy, you need some laughter. LATM is here to provide that.

Nato Green: Laughter Against the Machine is a fearless comedic expedition to the nether reaches of anguish and confusion in American life. It’s funny too.

Janine Brito: A Jew, a dyke, and a black guy walk into a bar, then turn around and head to a Spearhead concert because bars are too full of “isms” and douchey white guys.

Benincasa: Are you guys going to make out on your tour bus? Is there going to be a tour bus? Are you going to smuggle coke in it? (This is a three-part question so answer with care.)

Bell: I think we’re going to make out quite well on our tour. By “make out” you obviously mean “fare” or “get along”, correct? Yes, if by “tour bus” you mean rental cars and walking to gigs when they are close enough to where ever we are lucky to be crashing. No, I think we’ll just drink the Pepsi that is offered to us. We learned compromise from President Obama.

Green: Instead of making out, we’ll be practicing a lot of active listening and compassionate acceptance. Instead of an actual tour bus, we’ll be traveling by solar-powered anarchist lesbian chimera. And instead of coke, I’ll be swallowing condoms filled with fair trade, collectively harvested, shade grown coffee from Chiapas.

Brito: I’m going to “make out” like a muthafuggin BANDIT at every Golden Corral buffet we visit (ziiiiiploc y’all, boom-shakalaka!) Tour bus? Um, we travel like REAL Americans, train hopping and riding wild horses whose spirits we’ve broken. My Santería acupuncturist doesn’t let me anywhere near high fructose corn syrup.

Benincasa: Are you afraid of the citizens of any city you plan to visit?

Bell: I don’t think we’ve picked especially scary cities, just cities that have people who could seriously use some serious laughs about things that are… serious.

Green: I’m afraid of most people.

Brito: Only the ones who are actually lizard people. OPEN YOUR EYES, GUYS!

Benincasa: Why should I spend money on your godless liberal art form?

Bell: So you and your god-filled hordes can have something to rally against. it’s not fun to be “holier than thou” if there is no “thou.” We at LATM give great “thou.”

Green: Because we make fun of our own side at least as mercilessly as we make fun of The Man, and we do it better than The Man ever could.

Brito: Because everything godless is super fun. Think about it: rock and roll, booze, drum circles, stroking Burt Reynolds’ chest hair.

Benincasa: Bonus question: why do you do comedy, anyhow?

Bell: A lack of marketable job skills.

Green: To stop the throbbing pain in the base of my skull and avoid crying in public. Same reason I drink coffee. See my third answer under question two, above.

Brito: Because I love disappointing my parents.

Full disclosure: Kamau, Janine and I are represented by the same pack of thuggish feminist monsters. I tell you this because I believe in transparent journalism.

From GJPexpress@cox.net

To: Sara@SaraBenincasa.com

You and Behar, two loud-mouths that need a big dick in your mouths to shut them up…Dig this you two-bit ugly cunt….Be a tough gal and call us republican conservatives racists to our face..Normally girls get a pass, but not you, you filthy bitch…Bring it mother-fucker…

From: Sara@SaraBenincasa.com

To: GJPexpress@cox.net

Thank you for writing. I have yet to actually fuck my mother, but she’s quite a comely gal and I’m sure she’ll be flattered by your assumption.

Best wishes,
Sara B.

Episode 14: Stop It!

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Episode 13: Frustrations!

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Sex and Other Human Activities Episode 12: Love and War

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Sex and Other Human Activities Episode 11: No, She’s Mine!

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Episode 10: Afghanitastic!

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Episode 9: Dildos and Clay

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Episode 8: Hot Young Virgins and Creepy Old Dudes

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